Tips To Tolerate Valentine's Day
Brooke Randolph, LMHC
It's Valentines Day. If you don't have a significant other or your relationship is currently in a rocky place
, Valentines Day can be irritating to simply painful. You might feel like hiding in bed all day, turning the radio station every time a love song is played, channel surfing at the first sight of a jewelry commercial, or wearing back and scowling all day. While those things may be tempting, I have a few ideas that might even make Valentine's Day enjoyable for you.
Even if you are feeling like you are on your own this Valentine's Day, most of us could use a little more self-love. Spend some time focusing on those things that you appreciate about yourself; just for one day forget about those things that you still want to improve. Get to know yourself a bit more deeply or just be silly by taking personality tests online. Be kind to yourself by taking a bubble bath or hot shower, cooking a fabulous meal or ordering in or going out (even by yourself!), reading for enjoyment, indulging in a hobby or favorite activity, and getting extra rest. When you feel like the whole world has someone else watching out for them, it is more than ok to do something special for yourself.
generally improves mood and helps us appreciate the blessings we do have. There are so many in this world who feel unloved and unvalued, including orphans who have never
experienced love. Share love by serving at a soup kitchen, donating to orphan care
, volunteering for a suicide hotline
, etc. Soaring Heart Counseling
blogged last week on making Valentine's Day into a family holiday and using the day to express appreciation for friends and co-workers. I plan to leave messages for each of my teen cousins on Facebook
whether or not they are currently "in a relationship" or not.
Another way to both give back and provide love for yourself at the same time is to adopt a pet. Loyal, affectionate, and always happy to see you, a dog is a great way to experience love on a daily basis. I'm allergic to cats, but I'm sure they are great too
. So many more people talk to me while I am walking the Big Blue Dog
then any other time I am in public; having a dog could also be a way that you could meet a potential Valentine. My friends at Mended Hearts
would be happy to help you find a dog or cat that needs your love.
When we are proactive in obtaining our goals, we feel more confident and more capable. eHarmony is offering free communication throughout February, if you are interested in finding a potential Valentine for next year. Match and Plenty of Fish have worked for at least my two of my friends. Getting involved in something that you enjoy will not only be a way of taking care of yourself, but can also present an opportunity for you to meet someone with similar interests or goals. If you have ever wanted to take a cooking class or ballroom dancing lessons or play flag football, the worst that can happen is that you try something new; you might even enjoy yourself, whether or not you meet the love the of your life. If you are not comfortable going new places alone, enlist a friend to be your support.
Even if my suggestions do not seem like enough to lift the funk that surrounds Valentine's Day, remember that I would not write such a post if you were the only one in this situation. You are not even in the minority. Being single or hurting on Valentine's Day does not mean that you are unlovable, unloved, or even unvalued.
If you cannot find a way to enjoy Valentine's Day, then ignore it. If you have to, take a mental health day from work. It will all be over soon, and the jewelry commercials will die down, at least until Mother's Day.
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