One excellent resource is Brooke Randolph’s The Loss Book. This wonderful resource provides an easy to follow blueprint for working through loss in small steps. Breaking it down into chunks makes the process less intimidating. It provides a boundary that limits the child’s focus to one small aspect of the loss at a time. The format of the handbook uses a range of approaches: drawing, journaling, deep thinking, and conversing with others. Every child facing loss will be able to find something useful in this handbook. Using a specific book dedicated to confronting and healing a loss helps children to set aside time and attention for examining the loss. Equally important, it also helps them to contain their preoccupation with the loss by confining it to their notebook.

Parents will also find the structure of the book useful to guide them in supporting their children through the healing process. The questions and suggestions will trigger thoughts and ideas about what they can say or do–or when to remain silent and/or only listen and observe. Much of the material in the book can also be used by parents to process how their child’s Loss impacts them. I especially appreciate the suggestion that the Handbook be stored in a place where it is accessible through the completion process.  Children can revisit their work and add to it in the future as their understanding of the loss evolves over time. Families should have a foundational conversation about the distinction between privacy and secrecy as well as identifying “safe” people with whom to share the Handbook. As an adoption coach, I appreciate the value this handbook offer families for working through adoption-linked losses.”