This blog contains links to gift ideas for your convenience. Some are affiliate links, meaning if you purchase through that link I may earn credit at that store or a few pennies; however, links are provided solely for your convenience. The intention of this blog is to help inspire you to think about how you can improve your relationship.
Yes, it is February, but every month is a good time to work on your relationship. It may not be the traditional definition of romance, but these 5 ideas can make a major impact on your relationship whether you’ve been dating a few months or married for years.
1. Eliminate the stressor!
Hire a cleaning service
It may seem surprising but the second most common intervention I recommend to couples is to outsource housekeeping by paying someone else to clean the house. Cleaning, household chores, who does what, when and how it is done… it is just an argument not worth having. A housekeeper is generally cheaper than therapy, and the benefit to everyone’s mental health to living in a clean home is well worth the expense.
Maybe you never fight about chores, but consider other ways that you can eliminate unnecessary stressors from your relationship and your life. What can you delegate or outsource? What can you do to create more quality time together? Is it hiring someone to mow your lawn? Signing up for a meal-delivery service to save time in meal planning and shopping? Things that seem like luxuries may be intentional investment in your relationship.
2. Cultivate the key relationship habits needed for success
The number one intervention I recommend to couples is taught in this online program Couplehood: A New Way to Love. You can have the relationship of your dreams and finally get the love that you want. Rather than struggling to schedule with a couples counselor and paying $150-200 per hour, this nine week transformational course can be done from the comfort of your own home (no babysitter needed) on your schedule. Work at your pace, doing one lesson per week or one per month.
Not only will this help improve your relationship, we believe that healthier partnerships create healthier children, healthier friendships, healthier workplaces, and a healthier world. Our goal is to create a new way to love and transform the world one couple at a time.
3. Adventure together
Everyone pictures roses and candlelit dinners and fancy restaurants and chocolates and jewelry for Valentine’s Day, but the best date night for your relationship is an active adventure. Research in psychology suggests that adrenaline is a prerequisite to attachment, especially adrenaline felt during shared experiences. So find something exciting to do together like rock climbing or high ropes and zip lining.
4. Love Intentionally
You can improve your relationship without dragging your partner to therapy. You can improve your relationship without your partner’s participation. You can improve your relationship without your partner even being aware. The Intentional Love Challenge includes 10 challenges that you can do in a day (or focus on for a longer period). The format is simple. The intended impact (for your relationship) is huge.
5. Read, Learn, Grow
Whether you read together, on your own, or read to each other, relationship books can benefit your relationship by teaching you new things from relationship experts, reminding you of things you already know, and giving you a new perspective on your relationship. Here are five great options
- You Are The One You’ve Been Waiting For is a great book to understand your own parts written from an Internal Family Systems perspective
- Making Marriage Simple by Harville Hendrix is a simplified explanation of Imago Relationship Therapy
- John Gottman’s 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work is based on his research with couples
- If you want to work on your sex life Hot Monogamy and The Huddle: How to Score in Sex & Love are two books that I recommend. (And it looks like you can read The Huddle for free with Kindle Unlimited)
- Check out more book recommendations on my Amazon list